Behind the IEP Table: A conversation with a special education teacher

At The Arc of Spokane, we know that for many families, the first Individualized Education Plan (IEP) meeting can feel daunting.

There are new terms to learn, multiple professionals in the room, and important decisions being made about a child’s education. At the same time, these meetings are built around a shared purpose. Families and educators are working toward the same goal of helping a child grow, learn, and access the support they need to succeed.

To better understand the IEP process from a classroom perspective, The Arc of Spokane spoke with Mr. Riley Nelson, a local special education teacher with Spokane Public Schools who also happens to be the parent of several children with IEPs. His experience on both sides of the table offers a meaningful reminder that strong communication and mutual respect can transform the IEP process into a collaborative partnership.

The Arc of Spokane: What kind of support from families, schools, or the community makes the biggest difference for you and your students?

Nelson: One of the most helpful things is when parents and teachers are working toward the same goals together. For example, if a child is learning a new skill like potty training at school, it really helps when that same skill is being practiced at home. When everyone is reinforcing the same expectations, students tend to make progress much more easily.

Another important piece is valuing the teacher’s professional perspective. Teachers may spend many hours each week with students and become very familiar with their learning styles, preferences, and challenges. Parents also see important things at home that teachers may not see at school. When both perspectives are shared openly and respectfully, it creates a stronger understanding of the child.

Teachers care deeply about their students and want to see them succeed. When families trust that intention, it strengthens the partnership.

The Arc of Spokane: For parents who are grand new to IEPs, what is the first thing you want them to know?

Nelson: the first thing I would say is that it is going to be okay. Your child is going to receive support.

IEP meetings can feel intimidating at first, but parents are a critical part of the team. You are not just present for the meeting. Your voice matters in every decision that is made. Everything included in the IEP should involve you and you are part of the entire process. Parents know their children better than anyone else. That knowledge is extremely valuable to the team.

The Arc of Spokane: What are some common misconceptions parents have about special education or IEPs?

Nelson: One concern that comes up often is the fear of labeling. Some families worry that having an IEP will negatively affect their child.

In reality, the process to qualify for an IEP is very thorough. It involves extensive evaluation, testing, and documentation. When a child qualifies, it means they need additional support to access their education.

In most classrooms, students are not aware of who has an IEP. When I taught general education, students often thought going with the resource teacher looked interesting and exciting. They saw it as something special rather than something negative.

The purpose of an IEP is simply to provide the support a student needs in order to succeed.

The Arc of Spokane: What does an IEP meeting feel like from a teacher’s perspective?

Nelson: Most of the time, it feels very similar to a parent-teacher conference. We talk about how the student is doing, what they are learning, and what supports may help them continue to grow.

I have also attended IEP meetings as a parent for my own children. The experience is surprisingly similar from both sides of the table. The conversation is centered on the student and how everyone can support them.

In most cases, the tone of the meeting is collaborative. Everyone is there to problem solve and share information.

The Arc of Spokane: What questions should parents feel comfortable asking during an IEP meeting?

Nelson: Parents should feel comfortable asking any questions they have. The meeting is meant to be a safe space for discussion.

Sometimes parents hesitate to ask questions, but curiosity is important. Families can ask about accommodations, support strategies, or ways to reinforce skills at home.

IEPs are living documents. They can change over time as the student grows and their needs evolve. Open communication helps the team make thoughtful decisions.

The Arc of Spokane: How can parents advocate for their child in a way that encourages collaboration?

Nelson: One helpful approach is to frame concerns as observations or questions.

For example, a parent might say “I have noticed my child doing this at home. How does that show up at school?” Questions like this invite conversation and allow both sides to share information. Advocacy works best when families and educators approach the conversation with curiosity and a willingness to learn from each other.

The Arc of Spokane: What makes communication between parents and teachers work well?

Nelson: Consistency and regular communication make a significant difference.

For students who are non-speaking or who have difficulty explaining their experiences, sharing information becomes even more important. Parents can let teachers know if something unusual happened at home, such as poor sleep, illness, or a stressful event. Teachers can share what they observe during the school day.

When communication is ongoing, families and educators avoid surprises. Instead, they are able to respond to challenges together and support the student more effectively.

The Arc of Spokane: As both a teacher and a parent of children with disabilities, how has that experience shaped your perspective?

Nelson: Going through the IEP process as a parent has made me a more thoughtful teacher. Sitting on the parent side of the table helps me understand how important it is for families to feel respected and heard.

The IEP meetings that meant the most to me as a parent were the ones where teachers began by expressing care for my child and asking how they could help them succeed.

Every child has strengths, interests, and unique qualities. Those things deserve to be recognized and celebrated. Children are far more complex than any diagnosis or disability category. When educators take the time to see the whole child, families feel that support.